Friday 24 January 2014

Words from the archives #7 Kingpin (2009, audio)




In that one small moment
I became king

The feeling as the ball rolled from my hand,
Arrowing straight down the centre of the lane,
Maintaining a position of perfection,
As it travelled at the speed of delight,
Equal distance between the two gully’s,
Was like, walking out of my house to the bustop,
And without breaking step,
The bus pull's up,
And I casually jump on,
All in front of the prettist girl in the school.

My own projectile missile,
Target locked on.
And Upon Impact,
Producing the harmonic sound of that organised crescendo of chaos,
As the ball struck the centre pin.
The catalyst for the chain reaction,
Collapsing all 10 pins.
Obliterated
Nothing left,
Only the vegas like synthetic strip lighting highlighting my glory,
As if all the balls on the other lanes,
Were bowled at once and syncronised like a 21 gun salute.
X marked the screen.

I'd long ago accepted my position in all this,
My rank being verbal punch-bag,
In the great mis-order of things.

I'm the one you wonna' play pool against,
after you've just taken a whipping.
I'm the one you wonna push around after you've just taken a kicking.
I'm the one you wonna take the piss out of when you're trying to chat up women.
I'm the one you wonna talk too, when you're confidence has gone missing.

My social scene is like a fruit machine
My mates are like the cherries,
Always in pairs.
I'm the lemon,
Solitary and sour.

I turned back round,
And saw my 3 friends,
And their girlfreinds,
With their mouths open wide,
As if they were about to engage in speech,
But nothing was coming out,
Just particles of stake breath.

I never knew silence could make a sound so beautiful



Wednesday 22 January 2014

Why do I do all of this stuff?

Sometimes  

 I get asked, or have to try and explain, mainly in workshops and educational settings, why it is I choose to write and perform. There is a few different answers I often give, most of them are in the list below, but I think this is the first time I've ever sat down and tried to list them all togethor. I felt a bit wary doing this as there is a part of me that thinks it's a bit wanky and insincere, and I'm almost pretty sure if I did this next week, some of the answers would be different. Alas. here it is, hopefully my asnwers in future will be a little consisent.

 Why?


:    I enjoy the craft of creating something.

:    I think a lot, probably too much. Writing helps me organise my thoughts.

:    It helps me figure out my relationship with the environment around me

:    I can express my thoughts and feelings in a creative and constructive way.

:    If I'm writing something, I can take my time, cross out lines, change words and eventually work out what I want to say and how I want to say it. (I rarely ever won arguments whilst growing up, I still don't, it's much better for me this way.)

:    I enjoy the life-cycle of developing a piece of work, writing, editing, learning it, then practising it, practising some more, extra practising, then finally performing (with some last minute frantic practising). All of that, gives me a sense of achievement and a feeling of self-worth.

:    Performing allows me to connect with other people, which helps me further in understanding my relationship with the world around me and where I fit in. I've met some great people this way.

:    Sometimes, I get to perform in places I would probably never have gone to and meet new people I probably never would have met.

:    Though I'm often very nervous before I perform, I enjoy the crazy mixture of feelings I get from going on, being on and coming off stage.

:    I enjoy the camaraderie with other writers and performers, especially at festivals, they're always a good laugh.

:    Water, beer, juice and fizzy drinks all seem to taste nicer after a gig.

:    Everytime I come off stage, not knowing what the outcome would be when I stepped on the stage, and having done everything that my nerves, fears, worries, self-doubt and paranoia are telling me not to do, I feel like I've achieved something. It's these little victories which make me want to     overcome more of life's hurdles.


Tuesday 7 January 2014

Words from the Archives #6: Dizzee from Change (2010)

Over the next few weeks, I'm going to be putting some of the pieces that I've been performing over the last 3-4 years up on my Soundcloud page. Starting with this one - Dizzee from Change. I wrote as part of a slam competition I finished runner up in at the end of the year, called Manorlogz. It was broadcast on some sort of cable channel which you can see HERE



I vividly remember that transition between garage and grime
Wobbly baselines and eerie synthesizers
Epitomizing the darker side of London life
Gone were the girly vocals
Replaced by raw instrumental space allowing an MC to demonstrate
The delicate balancing act between bravado and flow
As whole studio's previously only available to those with dough,
Were condensed and squeezed onto desktop pc's

Whatever side of the musical divide you chose
The relentless march of evolution wasn’t stopping
Time waits for no man
So the saying goes
And rightly so
Because
I've suffered many a splinter from sitting on fences
Worried that whatever side I decided to climb off Id be defenseless
For years I perched trying to search for the perfect way
To permeate the boundaries of success and away from the doldrums without being seen,
I saw attention as an enemy that could potentially halt my progress
Though thought and action were two factions that rarely agreed

In-bedded in the tred of my trainers is the memory of a thousand pounded pavements
Paces of procrastination.
Paving slabs greeted my feet anytime I sought retreat in my lunch hour
An escape from my place of work.

I took to these walks to create space for thought
My daily tours saw me over analyzing situations beyond contemplation
Until I realized immersing myself in grey clouds of thought
Was a just a subconscious delay tactic
A mental fence on which to sit
Blanketing the reality of mother nature’s very own weather report
Worried about getting caught in a shower when the forecast was heat

For the sun's rays to penetrate I needed to accept the fact that weather does change 
And the outcome is out of my hands
In order to jump off the fence and make an impact
I tried to revolutionize the way that I think
In the same way that garage dj's did when they dropped 138 Trek by Zinc

Whether or not it paid 
It triggered a chain reaction for change to happen
I'm not sure who claimed they were first to maim that skippy 2 step beat
And chop it in half
All I know is that it tore a line apart between old and new
I Love You was a long way from Bring Me Flowers
However it allowed a whole new species to blossom
The pollen of many genres responding to mistakes and lessons of the elders
Genetically encoded in the DNA of the music
And passed on like father to Son

I decided I had nothing to loose by taking risks
Other than loosing a few splinters,
And the sole's of my trainers could start connecting with a few more stages
And a few less pavements

Actions have consequences – positive and negative
So they say
No action knows no satisfaction
Sitting on the fence in isolation was frustrating
Only dipping my toe into the ebb and flow of everyday living
Would stunt the development required for essential decision making

The act of waiting becomes frustrating
And that impatience converts to bitterness
Who's only home lies in defeat

I didn’t wonna' be another could a been.

So I selected my spot.
Jumped off my fence and went to ground
I realized sometimes you have to do things on you're own.
Accept responsibility,
And just go

The same year Dizzee dropped Boy In Da Corner

I left home

Monday 6 January 2014

Hello 2014

Greetings

Happy new year and all that.

It's been a wee while since I've posted anything and a fair bit has happened, what with the bedsit show and general festive shenanigans.
 

The Bedsit

 Speaking of the show, as in A Tale From The Bedsit, it all went pretty well. We did 9 shows, over the last week of November and really enjoyed it, I felt it went pretty well all in all. There were a few hiccups but that's to be expected. The whole vibe of the festival was great, saw lots of familiar faces in the bar at Roundhouse who were either performing or just as punters. The whole thing has been a massive learning curve for me and I feel pretty good after coming out of the other side.

Reviews

I was told before the show started not to expect many of the supposed big-guns in, in terms of reviewers, for various reasons but I weren't that fussed. I appreciate that at this moment in time I'm not exactly a big draw and spoken word isn't quite as big as a play happening else where etc etc, I was just glad of the opportunity and was pretty chuffed about the fact the most of the shows were sold out (even if it was just 8 people per show, that's still 8 people that have made the effort to come in and see it, too me, that's nuts!)

HOWEVER! I was made up when I saw these two reviews from Londonist via Lindsey Clarke and Sabotage Time via Lettie McKie

http://londonist.com/2013/11/have-a-cup-of-tea-with-paul-cree-in-a-tale-from-the-bedsit.php

http://sabotagereviews.com/2013/12/05/review-the-last-word-festival-the-roundhouse-16-nov-1st-dec/

And on a final bedsit note, the show will be going to Bettersea Arts Center for a week in march, which I'm delighted about, as BAC is a venue I have a lot connections with, you can purchase tickets from here

https://www.bac.org.uk/content/31456/see_whats_on/current_shows/cook_up/a_tale_from_the_bedsit

This was me in the Camden Lock Hotel where most of the shows were

This was where the final show of the run was, for a bigger audience



rODIUM

For the last year or so, I've been playing drums and precession for my friend and collaborator Conrad Murray's band, rODIUM. We've recently had a spat of gigs which I really enjoyed, most notably at legendary gig venue, The Water-rats in Kings Cross, here is a video.