Count Up To Edinburgh #9 Mission Complete

During the Edinburgh festival, if someone were to circulate a false rumour that so and so big bollox TV executive / stage producer was holding open auditions a mile out into the shark and sewage infested sea, beyond Leith docks, a hyper-enthusiastic undulating throng of merry actors, comedians, poets, magicians, clowns, knife-throwers and jugglers would saunter en-masse (armed with flyers), down to the murky waters only to perish to certain death; disappearing in floating pools of blood and sludge and flyers with review quotes stapled to them. For years after, passers by along Leith Port would hear distant murmurs of 'free comedy' and '4 star review' haunting the docks. Let's have it right, I'd probably be one of them mugs, though I'm sure I would have got half way there, seen all the people heading in the same direction, cussed them off for being more organised than  me and then abandoned all hope and sulked off to one of them late night takeaways that sell chips in curry sauce; either that or I'd turn up on the wrong day or something. In short. Edinburgh is like an extreme form of Monopoly, only difference is, it can seem, depending on what kind of day you've had, that everyone starts off with more dough and know-how than you.

Mate. Edinburgh was nuts. I knew it would be nuts. Knowing it would be nuts didn't make it any less nuts, it was still nuts. But all in all, a good nuts. To do it, and to want to do it, then want to go back and do it again, you do have to be at least slightly nuts. It just helps (a lot) if you've got the sort of dough behind you that would see you drinking in the sort of pubs that sell 10 different varieties of flavoured nuts (which come in jam jars) as a poncy alternative to crisps (which in itself is nuts because crisps are banging, all crisps, even Space Invaders.)

I pretty much had 3 objectives going up there, well, 4 actually.

1: To book, organise and get a show up there then put it on every day. (This stuff does not come easy to me)

2: Get my face in front of some new people, outside of London and from hopefully as many different places as possible (though half of the people at the Fringe are probably from London)

3: Get a couple of reviews.

4: Have a laugh (though this one was more of a given)

I'm happy to say that I achieved all of those objectives. The outcomes could have been better but also could have been a lot of worse. Could of improved in all of those above areas, particularly in my preparation; prior to this I'd never sent out a press release before let alone written one. Probably could have used my time up there more efficiently as well, flyering other events etc but all in all, I was pleased.

Me at the Pilgrim. That curtain behind me was at times the only thing between me and a bar full of noisy boozers. My audience was in front of me, presumably all looking at my Millwall tie thinking 'I swear that was from the 96-97 season range, great year for the club shop that was."

This was taken form the last show which to my surprise was packed. Dominic Berry took this, one of the many people who I met up there who I really enjoyed spending time with. There was a lady just out of shot, who just before the show started whacked my arse while I was bending over setting up. I told her it wasn't that sort of show.

The first week was very up and down and despite having a good audience for my first 2 shows it really dropped off and I was struggling a bit. Walking around the city, already sodden and cold, seeing all the massive hoardings and billboards advertising really banal looking shows, most of which had some quirky face on, with each one seemingly telling me, 'you can't afford this, go home, you small time mug.' Sounds a bit melodramatic but at times that's how I felt. Some of these people that take shows up there, must be able to write off £10K or some other ludicrous amount and it not be a problem. For many people though,  it must break the bank. Everything up there costs and it's very difficult if you don't have a lot of money. High venue costs. High accommodation costs. Massive billboard posters. PR Companies. It's a lot. Thank God then for The Free Fringe and the ethos with which is stands for, which meant I didn't pay for hiring the venue I performed in, which is a massive cost. Simple really. We don't pay to hire the venue, audience don't pay to come in, venue takes the bar. It can work. The Pilgrim, where I was based, did really well, smashing all their targets. All in all I spent about £1500 squid, not even a fraction of what some of these shows must have cost. It also helped that all the other guys in my venue we're really helpful and pitched in with flyering, and regular pick-me-up support etc. Made The Pilgrim a decent place to work at. Large up Soundman Davey Jones, Gecko (best flyer-er in the game mate!) Jake Wildhall, Joel Autterson and all the Boomerang Club crew, Harry Baker and Chris, Robert Garnham, Dave and Byron and of course all of the Pilgrim staff who were all really supportive.

The Pilgrim Boys: L-R Joel, Harry, Gecko, Jake. At back, Harry and me outside The Pilgrim Bar, Edinburgh

Second week picked up and I got a lot better at flyering and generally pulling people in etc. All the additional gigs helped too, Boomerang, Stand Up and Slam, Raise The Bar, Prepare To Fail, all of which helped. Felt like I got a into a good swing with it and the audiences were good to, generally really responsive. My mate Gary From Leeds said to me before we went up that things would start slow then pick up, and he was right. He was right about most things up there, though I did manage to persuade him that chips in curry sauce was better than chips in gravy, eventually he came round. Had a reviewer come in from Broadway Baby who gave me a decent 4 star review which I was chuffed about. Have a butchers here

Also somewhere in the second week I had a nice chat about it all with Paul McMenemy from Lunar Poetry. As always, I talked to much. I'd just done a show so my voice was a bit raspy. It was fun though. Have a listen HERE

The last week was wicked. Audicnes were good and I felt like I knew what I was doing by this point. There was bit of a dip on one or two days but from what I'd heard this was felt throughout the festival. Couple of people said to me that in general numbers were down on previous years, something to do with The Olympics or Great British Bake Off or some other nonsense. I really enjoyed the chats I got to have most days, out and about on the streets, with other performers, punters etc. Big up Bob Walshy Walsh, who I had a good chinwag with most days about all things football and South London. When out flyering, it's a bit like a melty version of The Wire, on the street, all hand signals and that, comminicating to the other flyerers, working out the punters movements and who's likley to want to take a flyer. It was thoughts like that which kept me amused on the slow days. But yea, in the end it all went well. The last show was by far the biggest and most generous audience I'd had and it was great to go out on a banger. Had another decent review from a young reviewer too by the name of Ben Huxley, have a butcher's here (though both Dominic Berry and I had a bit of giggle about the unlikely comparison.) Though I got to perform to many people, I was chuffed that on most days there was someone I knew in the audaince, a lot who took me by surprise. I had a lot of freinds and family who came all the way up. Conrad, Fez and Junior came twice! Mum, Dad and Nat flew up just for the day. Met some really great people to, some who also came twice, like this really nice family from Cambridge, two of which were teachers. Had a lot of teachers. Big up Riko and family too. Thankyou, all of you, even the one or two rude ones who did'nt pay any attention and were talking or playing on their phones thoughout. Don't undertsand why you do that when you can just get up leave, it's Free Fringe innit, but still, you interest and annoy me in equal measure.

Special mention must go to all the residents of Poetry House. My flatmates for the duration of the festival. Had a great time staying with these guys, all the nonsense chats in the kitchen and the many pick-me-ups along the way. Fay Roberts (got to do the best / worst / weirdest gig with Fay), Dominic Berry,(ahhhhhhhhhhh football-style audaince support) Alexander Rhodes, Hannah Chutzpah all the various poets and mates of mates who came up and stayed, and of course my roomate, Gary From Leeds. Legend mate. Helped me all the way back from last year, to get my arse up there and pull it off. In that tiny cabin room that stank of damp towles, we had a good laugh, through the good times and the bad. Highlight of the Fringe for me was when Gary rescused a component from my beard trimmer from off of the roof, using gaffter tape, a brolly, a broom and sheer MacGyver like skills.

So yea, all in all, I had a wonderful time, high and lows, old friends, euphoira and sadness, new friends and a lot of laughs. Would I do it all again? Probably. Yes. Dunno...ask me in 6 months mate.

Count Up To Edinburgh #6 Hopefully they know what the name means now

Roundhouse Preview Yea, yea, it was sick, yea

Last Thursday I did the first preview for The C/D Borderline at The Roundhouse. You know what? It went really well. I was pretty chuffed on the whole. Yea there were bits that could have gone better, felt I rushed it a bit in places, I was having to mentally slow myself down (in fact it felt like the whole thing lasted about 5 minutes, but often that’s how the best ones go, it was a good 45). The audience were great, it was almost full (probably about 50 people in there) For some, that might be seem low but for me that’s flipping great, it was almost up to capacity and considering there was a massive event going on in the main space (the poetry slam final), Mark Grist and Tim Claire in the studio space, I felt I did really well. The space was perfect, small and cozy. I got in there around 4 in the afternoon and the tech, Tim, who I’ve worked with before was really good, had everything locked-down within about half an hour. I wish all shows went like this one. It’s given me lots to think about in regards to going up to Edinburgh, and, a bit of confidence. Let's see though..

Craft Beers, I’m just not convinced.

Though I never expect them to come, members of my family, some of my best mates and my girlfriend all turned up. They’re all very supportive and I count myself lucky, as they could well be sick of seeing me do this stuff, I imagine it can get pretty boring. As it is, they said they enjoyed it, which I was chuffed about. As it was, with the above attendees all in the venue, there was a lot of boozing involved afterward. Now, as anyone who knows me well, knows I do enjoy a good, crisp, fresh pint of premium lager, or 5. Recently, in the last few years anyway, a lot of these craft lagers now seem quite prominent in certain London boozers. I’m all for little independent businesses thriving and competing with these global giants but when it comes to these craft lagers, I’m yet to drink one that I actually like, and like, there everywhere now. Well, not everywhere, hold tight Ganleys in Morden, that's my spot. I dunno about these craft ones though, maybe they’re trying to hard to make them taste different, throwing all sorts of fruity concoctions together, but for a simpleton like me, it’s too much. Lager aint like ale. The difference between a good tasting one and a shit tasting one is both thin and simple. Roundhouse have that Camden Hell’s lager on tap, it seems to have done very well as is available all over the place. Either way, I had a quite a few of those despite me not really feeling it that much. But what I did feel, was a splitting headache the next day, like one of the worst headaches I’ve had in a long time,  like during my sleep someone slipped into my bedroom whilst I was spark-out and drilled inrto my brain, siphoning out all the fluid. It was like the Stella heaches I used to get before they weakened it a bit. Good night though.

Getting Closer to Edinburgh, In A Tight Situation Now..

 First preview done, Guilford next month but before all of that, there's tomorrow and THIS which will be supa-dupa: 

TICKETS HERE: PBH Free Fringe Benfit Gig at the Bedford, Balham 

Look at all thoses names below all of which will all be at The Edinburgh Fringe this year. Gecko is the man who got me the gig, I'll be featuring in his show tomorrow night. Oddly enough we are both also in the same venue in Edinburgh, The Pilgrim. Small world eh. Reach, it's for a good cause and should be banaging!

Count Up To Edinburgh #3 The C/D Borderline Previews ahoy

So I should probably mention at this point, and should probably have mentioned it before this point, several times, that before I head up to Edinburgh I'm doing a few previews of the show. They are all listed on the side on that gigs panel, but you know, they're easy to miss and most people probably get a squillion invites to someones show or whatever on a daily basis, so it's easy to forget and lastly, I'd really like to have an audience so need to flog some tickets, so here I am, reminding / asking / advertising these here dates:

- 2ND JUNE 7PM @ ROUNDHOUSE, CAMDEN - TICKETS £7.50 -

I get to return to the Roundhouse again, for the Last Word festival, 3rd year in a row so I must be doing something right? Anyway, even if you don't want to see mine there's loads, like properly LOADS of banging shows as part of this festival, it's like, a, massive erm, festival? Yea, a festival. There giving a platform to for people like me, big up.

8TH JUNE @BEDFORD BALHAM, PBH FREE FRINGE BENEFIT, FREE YES FREE

Funny story about this one. Couple of weeks back I performed at a charity night for Lyrix Organix (which was banging by the way, check the photo's on the site) - there was a guy performing there called Gecko, who'd I heared of but not seen before. He was brilliant, great singer-songwriter, performer and story teller, really smashed it. Anyway, we got chatting and it turrns out, he's also taking a show to Edinburgh, and low and behold we're both in the same venue! (The Pilgrim, by the way). Imagine that?! He was a really safe guy, safe enough to get in touch and ask if I wanted to come and do a support slot at the above night for his PBH Free Fringe show, what a touch eh!? Geezer's got a blue tick on his name on Twitter as well, cerified bruv!There's 4 or 5 shows happening that night, Jack Rooke, Atillia The Stockbrocker and more, plus the Bedford is a sick venue, all free too. 

MONDAY 8TH JULY @KEYSTONE GUILFORD

Anyone that knows the poetry scene in London will probabaly know Janice Windle and Donall Demspsey. Bonafied legends, they're like the Tovill and Dean of poetry. I've known them since I first started doing all this stuff, goingdown to Poetry Unplugged fo the open mike. Theve always been really supportive and have invited me down to their regular gig down in Guilford. I got to feature there last year and had a right laugh, if you're in that area, come down!  

So there you go, these are the pre-views. If you're able to come, please come and come with some freinds perhaps. I'll promise that I will do my best to put on  a good show, afterall, that's what I'm here to do, amougst other things. Here's the Roundhosue link again, just in case you feel the urge to book tickets and yet have read this far down and have forgot to.. LINK TO BUY TICKETS TO SEE THIS BANGING SHOW AT THE ROUNDHOUSE BY PAUL CREE CALLED THE C/D BORDERLINE SICK YEA SICK (THAT'S A LINE FORM THE SHOW)

Nice one, Paul